sometimes i hate myself for doing dumb things....like not writing the paper yet. ugh. tomorrow is going to suck until 8 pm. then it will be better. :)

8 days...

only 8 days and a 10 page paper and 3 finals stand between me and summer!!! ok, that is kind of a lot of stuff.... but still, that's close, right? so i am off to do work, for real this time. :)

shagging on augusta

just for clarification, shagging in South Carolina is dancing to beach music (sort of similar to swing dancing).

i would like to thank my roommate and Evan and Robert for making last night so fun. we went to Saluda, NC, for some really good barbeque, walked around the cutest little downtown you have ever seen, drove around a bit, then came back to Greenville for a free concert on augusta road - Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs. apparently they were really big in the late 50s and 60s. they sang classic beach music and a variety of oldies too. it was so much fun! there were more old people than i have seen in a really long time, and we all danced for a really long time. and then it started raining - did that stop the crowd of dancers? no! :) we danced in the rain to some classic songs like "twist and shout" and "up on the roof" and "margaritaville." it was so fun. :)


then i went to the last pi kapp party with annie. yay for annie and i being party buddies!!! :) we were there for quite some time, and it was fun. i think i am getting a really scewed picture of what fraternity parties are because i only ever go to pi kapp and their parties are really really low key. but i like it. :) then when we got back i hung out with the people in the G2 apt - yay for chambrell. :) then finally, bed. overall, it was a really fun night.

now today. i have to keep researching Luther and hymns in the Reformation for this 10 page paper due on Wednesday. ugh. but not much longer and it will all be over and i go home!!!!

9 days....

10 days...

i have had it, with everything....i am tired of being stressed and worried.

i think if i just immerse myself in my studies, i might make it 10 more days....10 more days....

12 days....

religion majors are weird. no offense to my fellow majors, but they are weird. i hope that i never fit the profile. tonight was a picnic at dr. bibb's house and we had food from the pita house. you would think the department would pay for it, but no, it was $4. i hate paying for food. especially when i think it should be free. i just sat there for the whole thing, thinking, wow, these are weird kids. i mean, there are a few normal people, and i did get to talk to this one girl that i have had 2 classes with, and she was really nice and cool, but the others...... whew..... i just don't know...

it was really strange to see the professors and their spouses - like, whoa!! they have real lives and summer vacation plans and grandkids!! i guess the idea that professors have no life is leftover from high school (high school teachers only graded papers and taught, nothing else). :) but apparently they do have real lives. who would have thought?!

tonight and tomorrow and pretty much every day left at furman i am going to be doing a lot of work. i started typing my speech today, and it is infinitely more complex than i had anticipated. i worked for 3 hours and had about 5 minutes worth (i need 10 minutes total). great - that means i have another 3 hours ahead of me. and the same day that i have to give the speech (wednesday) i also have a 10 page paper due for church history, which i haven't even begun to research yet. yay for me. why did i put all of this off until now?!? i mean, it is definately do-able, but i am not going to have fun. i am supposed to go to western carolina with courtney on saturday for our end-of-the-year away baseball game, but i don't know if i can sacrifice 8 hours out of my day for that. i hope so - we will just have to wait and see.

i am feeling better, though i am still incredibly worn out - i have to make the most of the time i have left here. i mean, i am not going to see these people for 3 months, so i need to end with good memories squeezed in between all the work i am going to be doing. i do love my friends, a whole lot....but i do want to go home.

and the countdown is on.....12 days until home....

sad, sad day....

tonight elliot was voted off of american idol. i almost cried, no joke. now i am almost apathetic about who wins. i guess katharine would be my choice because i really dislike taylor.

but elliot!!!!! i am so so so so sad.... :(

and now i have to work on my speech, which is sad too.

so the baseball game was really really really long.....and we lost. and kristin's car got a $100 parking ticket that we are going to split - not exactly the super fun night we had envisioned.

i cannot tell you how ready i am to go home. everything here is too intense and frustrating. we got our storage unit for the summer today, and i just wanted to move all of my stuff in this afternoon and go home tonight. but no. we still have 2 weeks. ahhhhhhhhhhhh..... i am worn out, physically, mentally and emotionally.

again i am left with this - God is God. and that is all that really matters. so now i will let steven curtis chapman sing the song that my heart is singing tonight.

"God is God"
And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don’t know

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I’m filled with awe and wonder
‘Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne Of the One who is worthy of worship alone



good night.

so tonight i talked to kaylah for a really long time. let me just say that it is really weird to be getting advice from your younger sister - actually calling her to get advice because you know that she is exactly the person to help you. i love it. and i love her. :) thanks kaylah. sorry that you had to hear all of that - i guess this was just one step further in our relationship changing from older-sister-younger-sister to friends.

isn't it weird how that just happens though, whether or not i want it to? i mean, a few weeks ago i was calling deborah crying, and she listened to me too. now the facade that "i have everything together and i am the big sister who knows everything" is gone - that's life, i guess. i can't wait to go home - i have never been so ready to hang out with my sisters. this is a good thing though. maybe i won't fight with them now. :)

14 days until home - not just until classes are over, but until home!!!! life is so intense - i need a break from it all!!!

p.s. today i made my first nonrefundable deposit for my italy trip next winter!! yay!! i'm excited (and a bit nervous)!!!

ok, i am soooooooo tired.....time to get some rest for my weary body and mind. good night!!!

BEACH WEEKEND!!! (long post....)

So beach weekend was great!!! I went with FCA to Litchfield Beach (just south of Myrtle Beach, and we did go into Myrtle Beach to see the bikers at biker weekend - wow, I have never been there before, let me just say that it is oh so classy, um, no. It was so trashy, but classic nonetheless.) We went down Thursday night, swam in the ocean at 10:30 at night, yes, it was super fun. Then we played soccer inside our beach house, then we slept in the crowsnest (like a little roof balcony thing)! It was fun until about 6 am when it was super bright and the birds were chirping and it was cold - then we went inside. Friday we just hung out on the beach and swam and walked - it was perfect. Then Friday night we had a cookout with all the FCA people and then we played Disney Trivial Pursuit, learned a few social dances, then went out to find Alice.

Let me tell you a bit about Alice. She is a South Carolina legend. Apparently in the late 1800s, she belonged to really wealthy family, but she fell in love with a guy who was from a lower social class. Her family was really upset, forbade her from seeing him ever again, and sent her away to boarding school in Charleston, where she got really sick. Her brother, who was a doctor, brought her home and took care of her, when he found a ring on a chain around her neck - she was secretly engaged to the poor man she loved. Her brother ripped off her ring and threw it into the marsh. She was so upset that she died a few days later. Her family was so ashamed of her, when they buried her, they only wrote "Alice" on her grave, not even her last name. Legend has it that she was very very beautiful and buried in a white dress. Supposedly, if an engaged girl walks around her grave backwards 13 times, then Alice will come looking for her ring, or something, I don't really know what was supposed to happen. So we decided that we were going to go find her grave, and we did Friday afternoon, and made plans to come back that night. So Andrew, Kristin, Evan, Erin, Robert, Will, Polly, and Michael went to the graveyard that night. We got really freaked out because we realized someone else was in there when we saw another car in the parking lot, and a motion sensor light was on over the grave. We were so scared!!! We ended up going into the graveyard, but when we heard a weird sound, Andrew and I ran out of there! Polly, Will and Evan stayed in there and Polly did walk around it, but nothing happened, obviously. I was not freaked out about ghosts at all - it was the thought that other people were in there that freaked me out the most.

So we took some pictures, left, drove around, prayed because we didn't really know what we were messing with, and then back to the beach house. Andrew headed back up to Myrtle Beach with Pi Kapp, and then Kristin, Evan, Erin, Robert, and I drove all the way to Wal-Mart, made some homemade ice cream, then to bed. Saturday we hung out on the beach again, although it was a bit too windy to be warm enough. Saturday evening we ate in Garden City (I think?) and then drove into Myrtle Beach to see all the bikers and the sketchy motels. :) Then we went to Broadway at the Beach and putt-putt at Mt. Atlanticus. Oh, and then we rode the rollercoaster in the Pavilion. Then more homemade ice cream and bed. Today we woke up too early, cleaned up, and came back to Furman. I am so tired, but it was a fun weekend. I love the beach. I think I had forgotten how much I like the beach - well, it has been like 6 or 7 years since I have gone to the beach (other than Hilton Head in the fall). I love it - the sun, the water, and the sand is ok (I don't like how it gets everywhere). Too bad the ocean is SOOOOO far away from Colorado.

Now only a couple more weeks of intense work, and summer!!! I am so jealous of everybody else who is already done with school. But in the fall, I will be home way longer than everyone else - which isn't fun because no one is there. Dumb Furman, why is our schedule so screwed up?!? Oh well, I still love it here.

But I am ready to come home!!! :)

beach weekend!!!

i'm off to litchfield beach for the weekend!!!! don't you wish you were too!!! :) :) :)

Chris is gone!!!!

Chris has left American Idol!!!!

I am so relieved - now I want Elliot to win. Katharine would be ok too, but NOT Taylor!!!!

Whew, what a great show!! :)

Only 2 more weeks until the finale!!!

i love american idol

i love american idol. :)

i want either elliot or katharine to win.

please, america, vote off taylor or chris....i don't like them.

the theory that paula abdul is always drunk at the show was somewhat validated tonight. pay attention to how weird she is, and you too will start to wonder if her stupid seal clap is more than just an awkward habit, or a sign of slight intoxication.

only 3 more weeks. 3 more incredibly full weeks and then home for the summer! this week is going to be great because as of thursday afternoon....beach weekend! then another weekend, then finals then home!!! granted, i have a lot of work to do, but it will go by so quickly, i just know it! i am so excited to see my family and necole! oh, and i do have to work, but the thought of italy next winter and an apartment next year will ease the pain of my hard labor. :) and who knows who will be able to visit me this summer..... :)

anyways, i actually have a headache (i never get headaches), so i am going to bed before 12 tonight - yes, that is early. so, good night!

p.s. kaylah looked beautiful at her prom!!! :)

p.s.s. i get to go see michael buble with my sisters this july!!!! yay!!!! i absolutely love him!!! and for once my family is doing something fun that i get to do as well!

why the heck would ryan v. be TCA's prom king?!?! please, someone explain that to me...

oh good grief.....

a bit of dramatic truth

ok, this song is a bit dramatic for me, but it says what i have felt a whole lot recently. but don't take it like i am depressed and hurting, because i am not - i am just moving on to a new chapter in life, and change is hard. it always is. and now i will let carrie underwood take it away for me:

I guess it’s gonna have to hurt
I guess I’m gonna have to cry
And let go of some things I’ve loved
To get on to the other side
I guess it’s gonna break me down
Like falling when you’re trying to fly
It’s sad, but moving on with the rest of your life
Starts with goodbye

I know there’s a blue horizon
Somewhere up ahead just waiting for me
But getting there means leaving things behind
Sometimes life’s so bittersweet

Time heals the wounds you feel somehow...

ok this is a long post tonight

well, today was a beautiful day, even though i had 2 hours of church history. wait, who am i trying to fool? i like that class. i am not kidding or being sarcastic at all - i really do enjoy that class. weird, i know.

oh, and yesterday i declared communication studies as my double major. so now get this: i am a religion and communication studies double major. it may sound impressive, but both majors are very condusive to doubling up with another major. (is that how you spell condusive? wait, i had to spell it again to ask if i spelled it right. ugh.)

today i listened to brian regan. hahahahahahaha i was just sitting here at my desk, by myself, laughing and laughing. then i played if for kristin, and she didnt think it was funny at all. oh well, i was amused. and it made me think of my family and how we all sat around and listened to brian regan and laughed so hard. :)

when i talked to necole today, i got so excited about going home. i can't wait to see her!! we haven't seen each other since i came to school in september!!! yay for necole!

this weekend is going to be great - pi kapp party friday night, tyler and friends here saturday, baseball and uncle tom on sunday! then monday night is the 7th heaven finale (8pm on abc family!), tuesday night is american idol (sad day, paris is gone), wednesday night is free ice cream with the hall and american idol again, then thursday afternoon we leave for beach weekend! yay!! and tomorrow night i am going to have dinner and study with annie! so this week, this weekend, next week, and next weekend are going to be great! and then only a week and a half more of classes, finals, then home for the summer! also, on may 24 is the american idol finale - can i say party in my room!?!?! haha i cannot believe that i am going to be halfway done with college!!!! time is flying by faster than i ever thought it could!

i know i am going to miss my friends here while i am at home, but i am definately ready for a long break. and by break i mean a summer job so i can furnish an apartment and go to italy next year. woo hoo. and then i will be ready to come back to FU to start the second half of my college career!!! ahhhh!!!

ok, that is enough for now. how about some comments.... :)

boy, life sure can get confusing and painful. but we have to trust that the Lord will work it all out according to His plan and in His time. growing up hurts.

i love banana pudding

it's true. i love banana pudding. tonight i went with fca leadership to one of our sponsors' (or whatever he is, i don't really know what his job is) house for a cookout.

let me just say, i think he has the exact life that i want. their house was adorable - the kitchen was spring green. perfect. and they had four of the cutest kids ever. and he works for the church, and i think she stays home. doesn't that sound like exactly how i will end up? i mean, everything else that i plan or think will happen obviously doesn't, but i would love it if that was my life someday. here it is: happily married, 4 kids, cute house and have college kids come over to the house. i love it.

ok, that is definately WAY down the road, because i could not even picture myself dating anyone, seriously or not, right now, let alone get married and have kids. i am glad that i have time and things to look forward to. i am going to make the most of these years of freedom that i have now.

ok, that's enough.

MY COMPUTER IS ALIVE!!!!

My computer is alive!!!!! Thanks to a new hard drive (thanks Mom and Dad!) and to David, who installed the new drive and everything else that makes this work! I am eternally grateful! And I forgot how fast a computer is supposed to be - I guess I was just so used to it being slow and then dying....and then being totally dead. So yeah, I am super excited. :)

And it is the weekend....finally....although I have no plans for this weekend, it will be good. And I really don't have much homework, so I don't know what I am going to do. I know - be on my computer. :)