snow snow snow

We have yet another snowstorm, and this one is scheduled for all of today, tomorrow and Saturday. Hooray. I like that the ground and trees and mountains are white, but I am sick of being cold and not going anywhere. But here I sit, at home (I do love home though), wondering if I really will finish the puzzle I started on Christmas Eve. I highly doubt it, but I still won't let Mom put it away. We don't need to eat at that table, we can eat at the other one. :)

The countdown to Italy is soooooo close! Basically, one more Sunday then I have a week to get packed and ready. Ahhhhhhhh!! If anyone has any gread advice about packing for 6 weeks in the middle of winter in Italy, all in one bag less than 50 pounds, I would appreciate it!!! I am really excited!!!

On a sadder note, we watched the movie "World Trade Center" today, and it was good, but I cried and cried. It really made me appreciate my family and the people I love. I was left wondering if I was trapped, knowing my death was pretty much imminent, who would I want to make sure they knew I loved them? Who are the most important people in my life? And I realized that if I really do love them so much, I shouldn't let the holidays or thinking about death be the only times I let them know how much I care. Like James Taylor sang, "shower the people you love with love, show them the way that you feel." Celine also sang, "don't save it all for Christmas day, find a way to give a little love everyday . . . . . . and saying 'I love you's' always better; seasons, reasons they don't matter, so don't hold back." Both of those songs pretty much sum up the way I have been feeling lately.

So, people I love, I hope you know who you are, I love you all. :) And I'm going to work at showing that more this upcoming year.

Merry Christmas!!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful day with their families, celebrating Christ's birth!

Uncle Tom is here!!!

HOORAY!!!! Uncle Tom was able to make it today!!! The C/S airport was open today, and he was able to keep his flight! So he is here for Christmas!! And this makes everything alright. :)

Countdown to Italy: 17 days

Snow!

Well, we are stuck at home today in a blizzard! It was pretty fun all day, just baking and watching movies, but tonight it took a turn for the worse. Uncle Tom isn't going to be able to come at all for Christmas!!!!!!!!! He can't get into any airport near Colorado Springs before Christmas Day, and he would have to leave the next day. :( This is the first time since before I was born that he won't be with my family for Christmas!!!! I am so sad that he won't be with us! Seriously, this is depressing my family, we are all just sitting around, sad now. Tom, we love you and will miss you and this won't be the same without you! :(

The snow is so bad that both Denver and Colorado Springs airports are closed, the post office closed, and basically everyone is staying home. I would say we have about 10 inches now, though there are 4 foot drifts in front of the garage. I can't wait to shovel the driveway....no, not really. It is currently 20 degrees here, though the weather channel says it feels like 3. This is good for Christmas vacation, but I am glad I no longer have to stay here all winter and walk to the bus stop in freezing weather.

And by the way, I have done nothing productive since I have been home. :)

countdown to Italy: 18 days!

where to begin....

Wow, a lot has happened since my last real post. Let's see....

On December 9, I went to Pi Kapp semi formal with Reilly. It was kind of spur of the moment, but I am really glad that we went! It was really fun and I got to wear my new black dress. :) There were a lot of my friends at the dance, and we all had a great time. Oh, and the previous Wednesday was the last day of class....minor detail. :)














Reilly and I at semi formal!


Then the next evening, Saturday, me and my apartment-mates cooked a big turkey dinner for some other friends. Everyone brought something, so it was a really easy dinner. I am not going to lie, it was delicious and I was really proud of it. But I did come to some realizations. I am soooooo grateful for my friends. I have been so blessed with amazing friends at school, and I love them so much. At random points during the evening, I would just be overwhelmed and on the brink of tears when I would think about how much I love them and how much I am going to miss them when I am in Italy. It was hard to say goodbye when I finally had to, but it's good because I am only going to be there for 6 weeks, and I am going to be having the time of my life! And I have no doubt that everything will still be ok when I get back. And yes, I was struggling with that, however ridiculous it may sound. But not anymore. Ok, maybe sometimes, but not most of the time.

Then we had finals, which weren't too bad for me. I only had a 30 second project for broadcast journalism, a test in religions of the world and a paper in rhetoric. (And I got my grades today, and I am more or less pleased.) I then packed up my room, and whatever I wasn't taking home, I stored in the closets in my apartment and in Will's room. It was kind of sad packing everything up. Thankfully I had some help, so that made it go by a lot faster. Megan is going to live in my room while I am gone, and I am really grateful that I am going to be able to go back to my apartment this spring. My dear apartment-mates, I love you and will miss you!!!!

So after saying goodbye for two months to most of my friends, I headed off to the North Georgia mountains with Chambrell for a couple nights of relaxation and fun at John's lake house. We pretty much just sat around, played games, watched a meteor shower, made a fancy dinner and played on the rope swing. It was really fun and I am really grateful for those friends too! It's hard to believe that I have known those people for over 2 years now! And freshman year seems so long ago....














Everyone (minus Timony) at the lake!

Then after the lake house, I went back to Atlanta with Annie, and stayed at her house for two nights. I got all my Christmas shopping done on Saturday in downtown Decatur! We had sooo much fun together, and our stomach muscles hurt so badly after all the laughing we did. Oh Nanners.... :) Then on Sunday I went to the Trzaskas' house. We ran errands with Kristin's parents, went to dinner and then to mass. Then they took me to the airport. I love them so much, they are definitely like family to me. :)

And now I am home. I did tons of ironing today and also my laundry. But tonight my whole family is going to have dinner together. Hooray!!! I don't think that has happened since Thanksgiving dinner. It's good to be home, and it is supposed to snow 7-10 inches tonight. Perfect. :)

And in 20 days, I am off to Italy!!!!!

i am home! finally.... but i am super tired and need to go to bed. tomorrow i will catch up with everything that has been going on in my life.

countdown to italy: 21 days!!!! (and 2 months to the day of when i get back from italy!)

i love my friends!

Well, I have a good story for this post. :) This Saturday I went shopping with Kristin and Erin, and when we were heading back to campus, Erin told me that she and a couple girls were going to dinner at Flat Rock, and asked if Kristin and I wanted to go with her. I told her yeah and then I called Annie and Merianna to see if they wanted to go too. So we get that all settled, Erin calls the girls and tells them to get a table for 7, and we go to Flat Rock. When we get there, though, Kristin is like, oh I see them. So we walk into the restaurant, Kristin stops at a table, and I look over, and there are a whole bunch of my friends. I was really confused at first, then when they all said "Surprise!!" and I saw the goodbye balloons, I realized that it was a surprise goodbye dinner for me because I am going to Italy during winter term!! I was so so so surprised and so so so happy that my friends thought of it and cared enough to let me know that I will be missed! I have been kind of concerned about not being here at Furman for 3 months, but I obviously have nothing to be worried about - I am loved!!! :) I know that not everyone was there that was invited, and I totally understand that for various reasons they couldn't all come - at least they wanted to be there and told me that they cared! I love my friends so much and am so blessed to be surrounded by people that know me and care about me! Thanks everyone for Saturday night! I am going to miss you all so much - you all had better email me all the time so I don't miss anything important!!!

and of course, the countdown! - 34 days!

deep thoughts...

For EVM I had to write a theological reflection on something that has been significant in my life in the recent past. I decided to write my thoughts on the situation with Pastor Ted, and after writing it all out, I thought it would be nice if I included it on here, so you can all see what lessons I have learned, and hopefully you will benefit from something you read. It is kind of long, so be prepared. And if you have any thoughts on the situation, I would love to hear them.

The biggest thing that I have been forced to theologically reflect on in the recent past has been the situation with Pastor Ted Haggard, the former senior pastor of my home church, New Life Church in Colorado Springs. When the allegations of sexual immorality and drug use were raised a few weeks ago, I cannot express to you the shock and then the denial of these allegations that I felt. Surely not Pastor Ted, who was known for his teachings on "there is no such thing as a secret, you will be found out" and his teachings on how much our individual sins cost those around us, not just us personally. So when it all came out that he really had been a part of a myriad of inappropriate activities, my world was shaken. He was the one person that I would have chosen as a model of not only a Christian living fully for God, but as a model Christian leader. I have realized in the midst of all of this that I put him on a pedestal, that I held him so high in my eyes that when he fell, he fell hard and he fell far. It made me question so much about God and the church and who to trust and what to trust. But my mom really walked me through this process, which really has been a grieving process. Being a part of New Life is like being part of a family, and Pastor Ted was definitely a fatherly figure for the church. He started it and its growth has been stimulated a lot by his work and teachings and eventually reputation, not to discount the incredible blessings of God that allowed our church to grow. So when these deceptions and sins came out, I felt betrayed, as a Christian and as a New Lifer. It made me question all that he taught - how could he stand up there each Sunday and teach that living for God is possible and that you shouldn't do this but you should live in the freedom Christ offers, when he knew that he was involved in these sins that were against everything, EVERYTHING that he taught? The hypocrisy astounded me. As I have been working through this grieving process, I have been in shock, I have cried, I have questioned, I have been angry. And now I feel like I am reaching a point where healing can begin. I am still disappointed and hurt and at times angry, but I have been able to see God's hand in all this. God allowed Ted to have the incredible ministry he had for so long, He graced him until God knew that He had given Ted enough opportunity to repent, and then he had to deal with his sin. Just because Ted failed, doesn't discount all that he taught. If anything, it only further reinforces all that he taught - I bet that he believes now more than ever that there is no such thing as a secret, that your sin will find you out. And I pray that in the next few months and even years Ted will be able to find the freedom that is his in Christ - the very freedom that he taught and counseled people in, even in the midst of his own sin. And still the work done by Christ through Ted isn't invalidated by his sin. And watching how the New Life administration is responding to this upheaveal is extremely encouraging. Being raised in a nondenominational church my whole life, the whole concept of a change in leadership and the church voting over issues and even just a church government is new to me. And I like it. I like that there was a system set up so the church would not only not fall apart without Ted, but we have been given the opportunity to grow, to find our identity outside of him. That is another huge lesson I have learned and I think a lot of New Lifers have learned - New Life and the church is not Ted, it isn't one person. It's a community of believers that are dedicated first and foremost to God, and when one of our leaders falls, we are there to discipline him, but also to forgive him and help him. Going home over Thanksgiving was amazing - I have never been so glad to be at church. It feels so much more like a family now, now that we have had to deal with this heartache and disappointment together. And ultimately, I have learned that God is faithful. He was faithful to reveal Ted and finally allow him to be freed from this secret, He was faithful to the church to have had the leadership have a healthy church government, and He will be faithful to us believers and I trust that He will use Ted as an example of brokenness made whole.

I could talk about this from so many more angles, but I will wrap it up for now.

Countdown until Italy: 39 days!

home!

i am home for a week! it is good to be back, though it is kind of chilly. ok, it's not that cold, but i get cold easily. church this morning was great, i am so grateful to be a new life member. i love Pastor Ross, and i am really impressed with how the church is pulling together in this difficult time and making the steps necessary to find a new senior pastor and make a fresh start. Pastor Ross was so encouraging this morning - reminding us all to take a step back and look at the church as a whole, to not forget who the church is, beyond these difficulties of our particular church. he reminded us to remember who we are as the body of Christ and as individuals - he read from the passage in Ephesians where Paul talks about the love of Christ. it was a powerful reminder of the basics of what it means to be a Christian - and a much needed one. so i am looking forward to this week and resting at home. though i do have to admit, i miss my friends. but this week will be good, then back to wrap up the term, then to the lake house for a Christmas celebration, then Christmas break, then Italy!!!! it's gonna be good. :)

so i bombed my religion test today. i think that's the first time i went into a test feeling completely unprepared and knowing it was totally my fault. wow. so this is how it feels.

it's raining and i am cold.

i am going to take a nap.

(countdown to italy: 61 days)
(countdown to thanksgiving: 11 days)

please pray for pastor ted as these accusations of a gay relationship are circulating. i believe that this is just an attack on him and they are not true, but i don't know what to think about how this is all going to end. please don't doubt him or let these lies shake your resolve, and keep praying!!!!

Tennessee

Well, here I am in Tennessee, sitting in Auntie Brenda's house, organizing the music on her computer. This is the first time I have had the chance to reflect on the past few days. So here is the synopsis of my fall break so far.

Friday afternoon, Brenda came to Furman to pick me up. We left Furman around 3:30, and because we decided to take the Blue Ridge parkway instead of dealing with Ashville traffic, we didn't get here until 8:30. Yes, it took 5 hours to get back, when it should have taken 2-3 hours. On the Blue Ridge parkway, we could only go 20 miles an hour because we were on this mountain and there was this incredibly thick cloud so that we could barely see the road in front of us. Needless to say, by the time we got out of the cloud, out of the boondocks of North Carolina and into civilization back onto I-26, I was ready to cry. But crying would not have helped anything, would it?

Then on Saturday Auntie Brenda, Uncle Jim, Chris and Kelly and their two kids, Tyler and Jake, went to Dollywood for the day. Then we did a little shopping in Pigeon Forge. Wow, talk about reminding me of days gone by. I was dead tired by 10 pm, and I felt like an old woman, even though I was the only not-kid who was under 30. I would start to feel like, yeah, I am catching up in age to Chris and Kelly, then Chris would say something like "I remember when you were born" or even better, "I remember when your parents got married." Well, way to put me in my place and remind me that I am still a 12 year-old in your eyes. Oh well. But it was fun.

On Sunday we went to 9 o'clock service at Celebration Church, where I saw a bunch of the adults from Shekinah that now go to Celebration. I was really happy to see the Hanors and J.R. Jones and Clayton's mom. It was super weird to be at the church and even here in Tennessee and neither Chris nor Clayton were here with me. I mean, that is who I hang out with when I visit, but they aren't here. Then Uncle Jim and I went for a drive in his 1978 Corvette. It is a sweet car, and I felt really cool while we were driving. We drove for a long time and got to talk about a lot, and it was really good. I am so grateful for him being in my life, kind of like an in-between from my dad and Grampy. We drove over Shekinah and went to my dad's parents' grave. I was like, ok, so there's the grave, I don't really know what to do now that I am here. Then when we got back from our drive, I took a nap and then we ate Sunday dinner with Chris and Kelly. Then I spent a few hours with the Hanors at their house, which was so good. I love being at their house, it feels like home to me. MJ and I got to catch up and she showed me lots of pictures of recent events in their life. Then she and David drove me to the Prieto's, where I spent an hour or so. It's so weird that the kids I used to babysit are now in high school. Then Debi picked me up and I spent a few hours with the Porches. Needless to say, when I got back last night, I was pretty tired after visiting all those people.

Today I slept in, spent the morning/early afternoon with Brenda, then Manna and I spent the afternoon together. It was so good to catch up with her. She is so cool, I feel like a nerdy Furman student and she is all into bands and music. But let it be known that I got a nose ring and a tattoo before she did. That has to count for something towards my coolness factor. Now I am back at Brenda's, eating dinner and hanging out with them. I might still get to see Abby Joy, which would be great. Then tomorrow I am going to see Laura Bush. haha, didn't think I would be doing that. Ok, it's dinner time.

sick

Well, I finally got better from my pink eye incident, now I have an ear infection in my left ear. I just cannot seem to get 100% better. I did get a prescription for an antibiotic today, so that should finally cleanse my system of whatever all these germs are. Oh, funny thing, Andrew now has pink eye. I shouldn't think that that is funny, but I do. :) I mean, none of my roommates got it, and he did. Now he gets to wear his glasses for a week, just like I did all last week.

Fall break this weekend!!! I am sooooo ready for this break! Kingsport, here I come! Oh geez, let's hope this goes well.....

Countdown to Italy: 74 days

homecoming weekend

well, this weekend was homecoming weekend. friday night merianna, annie, grace and i went out to dinner then out to the carnival on the mall. dinner was fun, but the carnival was cold and not too fun. heh....but hey, i really enjoyed dinner! then saturday i went to the pi kapp tailgate with whitney, then to the football game. the game was really fun in the beginning, really boring in the middle, then really fun in the end when we tied it up on the last possible play and had to go into overtime. it was super intense and all the fun a football game should be. and the weather was absolutely gorgeous, perfect for the game. my favorite part of the game was when the ref got hit by a ball - he was in the way of a pass and the ball just hit him. it was hilarious! i don't know if the players thought it was funny, but the crowd sure got a kick out of it. then saturday night kristin, erin, sarah and i went out to dinner then to see a movie. we saw "the departed," which i would only recommend if you like violence and bad language. the plot was very good; it had a really good story line, but i have never heard so much foul language in an hour and a half as in that movie. and it was most definately a boy movie - everyone died and nothing was really resolved relationally. to them, a solution was reached by shooting someone in the face. we came up with an alternate ending which made leonardo di caprio happy - too bad it isn't how it really ended. then we had some milkshakes and goofed off until i got tired and went to bed. this morning i had to be at the chapel at 10 for service, then i spent 4 hours, i repeat, 4 hours in the edit room working on my broadcast journalism project. it's pretty good, but i wish i had had more of a variety of shots. oh well, it's done now. now i am stalling and not doing homework....

next weekend is fall break, and i am going up to tennessee for the weekend. it should be good, relaxing i hope. life has proven to be quite stressful as of late, and i need a break. this should be perfect. i am staying with Auntie Brenda and Uncle Jim, yay!!! then only a few more weeks and i get to go home for thanksgiving! then finals then Christmas then Italy!!!! i really need to learn not to live life looking to what's next without making the most of the present. i mean, i am going to be away from all the people i love for 3 months while in italy, so i should make the most of the couple months i have left here and at home.

i also want to say that i love my apartment-mates. seriously, they are amazing. (oh, and grace too, who basically lives over here!) it seems like no matter what is going on, they are here for me, never judging me or telling me what to do, but just understanding and loving me. sure, they are great to give advice when i ask for it, and they always have such good advice. heck, they let me get pink eye all over their shirts when i need to the most. :) i thank God every day for placing me in this apartment with these girls. for real, they always seem to know what to say or do to make my life just that much better. and we all really suck at galavanting. :)

countdown to italy: 77 days

some thoughts i wrote down in rhetoric today....

There are times in life when everything seems stagnant, unmoving. And there are other times when it is all I can do to hold on as life changes, as it flips upside down and I wait for it to right itself once more. It is in these holding on seasons where I tend to learn the biggest life lessons. I've learned that it is never wrong to care, to share life and to learn about another person. But at the same time, I've learned that it is sometimes wise to guard your heart. I've learned more about myself and my capacity to care for another person. I've learned the importance of communication. I've learned that tears can be healing, and in my brokenness I find strength in waiting on the Lord. That true friends don't just come and go, but remain through the trials and the changes. And I've learned that at the end of the day, it will be alright, that I'll be alright. Maybe not today or even tomorrow, but over time my heart will heal and my world will right itself once more.

Sometimes change is good, but hard. But still good in the long run. And though growing pains are not fun, the fact that we are growing at all is worth the pain. God is in control, He holds our hearts and our destinies in the palm of his hand. We can rest assured that even things we cannot control or even understand, He can, and He has only our best interest in mind.

and my roommates are amazing, FYI. :)

Countdown to Italy: 82 days!

family weekend!!

so this past weekend was family weekend! it was so great to have Mom and Deborah here to see my life and apartment and friends! i enjoyed every minute of it. we did fun things like go shopping, go apple-picking, go to an opera, make apple pie and hang out with my friends and their families as well. friday night was super fun, several people came over to my apt and we ate food and talked and laughed. i loved that Mom and Deborah got to meet the people that make my life amazing. my only wish is that Dad and Kaylah could have been here too. :( i got to meet the families of my friends too, well, actually, i think i knew everyone's families except Andrew's. it was great to finally meet them and actually know who they were. and to see them talking to my family was super weird, but cool. when Andrew met Mom and Deborah, it was kind of weird because they are all important people in my life who knew about each other, but didn't know each other. and now they do. of course Mom and Deborah were very excited to see Evan again, and to meet his family. it's so great that he knows them and it was more like a reunion than a new meeting. ok, that didn't really make sense, but i'm going with it. here are a few pics from the weekend!

so tired...

so last night i went to bed around 1, which really isn't that late, not at all. but it has been this continuous going to bed late and getting up early that is catching up with me. and i think i might be getting a cold. ugh, i hope not. but this morning at 6:30, i got a phone call from an unknown caller, and for some reason i picked up. and i am so glad i did because it was necole in australia!!!! it was so cool to talk to her on the phone and know that it was 8:30 wednesday night there. she had already lived wednesday, and i was just about to start it. but anyways, it was such a great surprise to hear from her, despite the early hour. and now it is 11:15 pm and i need to go to bed, but i have to finish up some rhetoric review. then to bed in my clean sheets. :)

Mom and Deborah come tomorrow night!!!!!! I am sooooooooo excited!!!!!! And then we get to spend the weekend together and with my friends' families as well! :) I am pretty pumped. Then the next weekend is homecoming then the next weekend is fall break! October is great. :)

Countdown to Italy: 88 days

Necole

I just want to dedicate this post to my dear friend Necole. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for her friendship - she truly is irreplaceable in my life. Unfortunately, she is currently in Australia and I am in South Carolina, and I honestly don't know the next time I will see her. That's probably the saddest thought I have had in a while. When we met 5 years ago, I never thought that we would end up being such good friends. I can't believe how time has flown by, sometimes I wish we could just stop time and stay in the same place and be able to go to the MILL together and keep making memories like the fair and tattoos. I wish I could go back in time and relive all the great times we have had, I feel like the lyrics of one song:

"Give me one more day before these echoes fade away,
to take a laugh, a smile, a face, a glimpse of yesterday,
as I turn once more to where I've been,
I relive the moments yet again,
give me one more day in which to say I'll remember us this way...
...Though what's ahead I cannot see, the past, the part of who I'll be,
and when I hear it calling me, I'll remember one more day..."

But as much as I love reliving the memories we have together, I am so excited to see where God is going to take both of us. We seem to be going through exactly the same stuff in life, and her words of wisdom and advice are the best encouragement. God is going to use her to do amazing things in the lives of those kids in Australia, and He has already blessed me with her friendship. This may seem really sappy, but I just wanted to record for all time how great she is. :) Necole, I freakin' miss you, you tool!!! Righteous mac and cheese..... ;)

this week is CRAZY!!!!

ok, so i am pretty much going to have the most busy week ever. but Mom and Deborah come on Thursday night and i am sooooooooooo excited!!!! thankfully i think i can get all my reading and work done before then, but if i don't, it won't be the end of the world. and tonight all 4 of us in my apartment all hung out here for the first time, and it was super fun. :) ok, i sound really ditzy in this entry with all those exclamatory words i said. whatever. ok that made it worse. ugh.

i really have nothing more that i would like to share. good night!

countdown to italy: 90 days (as of Monday)