OMG

yes indeed - this is kaylah and michael buble!!! last night she and deborah were in the 7th row at his concert in denver! and when he ran through the crowd, he stopped to take a picture with her!!! can you believe it?!!? i love it!!! i am so jealous! but she loves him more, so i guess it is only fair. :)

and it is finally warm here. yay for spring in south carolina!! i actually have work to do this afternoon, so this is all for now - i just wanted to share some buble joy!!!

i guess this is life. thankfully it is a beautiful day. my attitude is better today, though i don't really feel that much of a change in my circumstances - i guess that is what God does, changes my heart even if He doesn't change life around me. thank you God. :) and i am not being sarcastic - i know that i would not be able to feel so ok if i was not aware of Him and how He has everything under control. God is good.

p.s. i still want to go home.

p.s.s. i hope my family reads this.

p.s.s.s. I WANT TO GO SEE MICHAEL BUBLE!!!!! :)

i am worn out. i want to go home. i don't want to deal with everything that i know i have to deal with. i am not old enough to have such weighty issues on my mind. i am not old enough to be having the conversations i have experienced as of late. i just want to go home and lay in my bed and see my mom and see my dog. i miss snooky. i want to run and hide from my problems - but mom reminded me tonight that if i don't learn communication and how to deal with certain issues in life that i have to deal with, then i will never grow. but growing hurts so much. i know that the Lord is changing me and teaching me a lesson (i don't know what it is yet) and i want Him to change me, i asked for it, but now that He is calling me to become a better person and learn a lesson, i don't want to. i hate change, but apparently it is inevitable.

p.s. i am really grateful for the friends that i have - especially when i have been so emotionally unstable the past while. i hate that i have been so emotional, but i am grateful that you are there to listen. it helps more than you can know. :)

ok, enough of my emotions. but i really really really want to go home. and see necole! :)

back to reality.

i am so ready for the work to be over. and it would help my heart so much if it would get sunny!!! i don't know what i am going to be doing this summer, but i am ready for it. whatever it is, it will be better than homework and the day in and day out of class. ugh.

pi kapp formal with andrew was this weekend - soooo much fun! i was so grateful for the getaway from furman and all that furman includes. perhaps some pictures when i feel like uploading them...

and to say the least, this past week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. again, the weekend was a welcome relief from it all. but now i am back in reality, even though at times it seems so hard to believe that what is my reality now could have ever happened. and even though i want it to be sunny, i am sort of glad that today is gross to match my mood. sometimes i like wallowing in my bad moods/emotions. so i am going to go take a nap, and continue on with my gloomy attitude.

it is hot here. period. and i wish they would turn the heat off!!!! our hall is roasting. and it makes me sweat and get tired...no good. but i guess i shouldn't complain about it - at home it was 37 degrees while it was 81 here. i am grateful for the sunshine and the flowers. :) i love spring term.

p.s. i gave my first mini-speech in communications class and i did ok. whew! i am so glad that first one is over! now i am not half as nervous as i was at first.

p.p.s. (or p.s.s., whatever it is) this weekend was really fun, and i am looking forward to next weekend too!!!

i am already tired of my schedule. and public speaking is scaring the crap out of me. seriously, i don't know why i signed up for this class. i have to give a speech tomorrow....already!!! ok, i have to go to class. ugh, i wish my mom could give my speech for me.

back at FU!

So I am back at Furman! And we had classes today - yay! No, not too excited, but I am here to learn, so I am sort of happy. I am taking Health and Exercise Science 10 (glorified gym class), Communications 20 (public speaking) and Religion 40 (history of Christianity). HES I think will be easy and ok, but we all know how much I love gym....not!! I am sort of nervous about public speaking - i haven't met my professor yet because he wasn't in class today. But the syllabus was pretty intimidating. We have to give 3 10-minute speeches, each worth 20% of our grade! No pressure!!! :) Religion I think I am going to enjoy. It is Mondays and Wednesdays from 1-3, and it will probably seem really long, but the students in the class are great. I know a lot of people in there and like most of them. :) I am excited about the topic as well. I am such a nerd. :) Oh!!! And I have to write a 12-15 page term paper!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! That is SOOO long! I haven't ever written that long of a research paper - heck, I don't know if I have even ever written a full-out research paper. So that will be a challenge the end of this term. In other news about this term, spring is beautiful here at Furman! The daffodils are already blooming and it is nice and warm. Beach weekend is this term, and that is guaranteed to be fun. Easter break, yep, that will be nice. I don't know where I will be going, but I figure it out by then. Oh yeah! I forgot to mention that I am going to the Pi Kapp formal with Andrew in a few weekends!!!! I am super excited!!! It is in Charleston and will be SO fun!!! I love getting dressed up and all that. :) Well, I think that is all the exciting news I can think of for now.

colorado

Ok, Colorado is the most beautiful state. Ever. I decided. At least Pike's Peak is breathtaking with the snow on it. Here are some pics I took this break. Feel free to comment on the stunning beauty of my home state. :)

Love Has A Hold On Me

I have found a perfect mystery
Love has a hold on me
Long before my life had come to be
Love had a hold on me
Love has a hold on me

Where do I come from
Where does life mean
Is it not to know the one who made me

As I’m looking down the road ahead
Love has a hold on me
Someday when I breathe my dying breath
Love has a hold on me
Love has a hold on me

Where will I go
When this life is through
Back into the light that made me and you

Love has a hold on me
Something opened up my eyes to see
Love has a hold on me
Love has a hold on me

I don’t have answers to all the questions
Running inside of my mind
But I can’t help believe that
Understanding comes in time

Love has a hold on me
Something opened up my eyes to see
Love has a hold on me
Love has a hold on me

If I run, if I hide, I know inside
Your love has a hold on me
Tell me yes, tell me no, my heart will follow
Your love has a hold on me

If I run, if I hide
Your love has a hold on me
Your love has a hold on me
Your love has a hold on me
Hold on me




Thank you Amy Grant for singing this song. It says everything my heart has been trying to say.

home

i am at home. but we have moved, so my home has a new house. i don't know how i feel about it. i think i am just overwhelmed at being here and the room and everything. and i am going to work with dad tomorrow. i get this sick feeling in my chest when i think about painting all day. i wish i didn't need money. ugh. such is the life of a poor college student. i guess i signed up for this when i picked an expensive college. i miss my friends. home isn't the same with everyone at school. and my furman friends - i miss y'all. break is good, but i wish we could stay together and go home at the same time, but that is impossible. but call me if you get a chance, i have a lot of free time. :) i think i might write a song. (that was for you, polly) :) and i don't know what to get my dad for his birthday. deborah suggested cologne, but we get him that every year - he is quite fragrant. haha that was funny. gosh, i love kelly clarkson. "beautiful disaster" is my current favorite song and it has been for the past 2 weeks. i cannot describe how much i love it. i listen to it so many times each day - i don't know why, it's not like it applies to my life, i just like it a lot. shout out to my good friend andrew ross. dude, fo real doh. we have some silly fresh convos online. :) wow, breaking out my gangsta. hahaha :) today i went shopping and bought some new tops - they are super cool, almost too cool for me. i am still debating if i can pull it off or if i should take them back. we'll see. i hate spending money. that's because i have to make it, and that makes me think about work tomorrow again. ugh. i need to stop. maybe i will work on a craft - ooohh my scrapbook pages come in tomorrow - i can start that project! yay! and american idol tuesday, wednesday and thursday nights! tomorrow night i will just have to rent a movie to watch while i scrapbook. i was thinking about "footloose" because i have never seen it, but i have it on good authority it is an amazing film. :) ok, i am going to go get ready for bed because i have to leave the house at 8 tomorrow morning. (it is 9:40 here.) that is earlier than when i am at school!!! what kind of break did i sign up for?!? ok, i am done whining. i just needed to get that out there. i will work on my attitude and come up with some good things to say tomorrow night. love to all of you who read this!!! :)

I LOVE THE FRAY!!!

ok, here are some pics from the weekend with kathryn and whitney (and the fray!) in ATL

ATL

So today i got back from spending yesterday and last night in atlanta with whitney, kathryn, bridget and mary beth. we saw the fray last night and they were amazing. all my clothes smell like smoke and we had to stand for 3 and 1/2 hours, but it was fun! i have a few pics from the concert on the way from whitney, so i will post those when i get the chance. i am sooooooo tired though! i did not get much sleep this week, and usually i get caught up on friday and saturday, but not this weekend. i basically walk around asleep. but i do important things with my time - friday i just hung out and had some great conversation, and then i was in atl last night, so it wasnt like i was watching tv until the wee hours of the morning. but i will definately be taking a nap this afternoon. and of course, doing homework because finals are thursday and friday!!! i cannot wait for a break! i know it is going to be FREEZING at home, but i am ready to take some time off. i keep saying that, i know. a week is the perfect time though - long enough to seem like a break but not so long that i get antsy about coming back to school.

and this week my favorite song has been "beautiful disaster" by kelly clarkson. it's amazing - you should listen to it, especially if you have never heard it.

and the fray is probably my favorite band right now. we'll see how they hold up in my rankings.

ok, i am going to go nap while kristin is in the library. she is so responsible. :)

well, i am glad to see that i have a few readers, although i do not know who they are....

today is probably the most beautiful day that has ever been. i am serious. it is like 67 degrees outside, the sun is shining, there is a soft breeze, the birds are singing....ahhhhh....i love spring, and it is only february 16. :) i feel sorry for those people in the snow right now. :) i am so excited - once i leave work today (i am at work now, obviously working very hard), i am going to go do my homework outside by the lake. and read a book that i want to read. wow, what a great life i have here. i will take some pics so you can all see how amazing today is. and how amazing furman is, and how much i like the brown shirt i am wearing today. :) just kidding, but, no, really, i do like the shirt i am wearing today. i only have 3 more days of spanish and then the final, and i will never ever ever ever have to worry about the imperfect subjunctive or any other tense of spanish ever again! last term i thought i would continue to take spanish classes, but i decided that no, i am not going to. unfortunately i will most likely forget all that i have learned up to this point, but at least i can say that i knew it once in my life.

today i saw dr. strange, my religion professor from spring term last year, yeah, the one that made me hate religion class. he remembered me, and i told him that i was a religion major now. he was like "in spite of me, you decided to major in religion." i thought, you have no idea how true that is. i am so lucky that he didnt completely ruin me on religious studies forever. but it was weird, so should i say strange. ;)

i dont know why today has been good - nothing out of the ordinary has happened, but i am happier today than i normally am. and i didnt get much sleep last night, as we all know. i think it is because it is so beautiful outside! (although i am stuck inside for at least 2 hours this afternoon.) anyways....that's enough ramblings. and if you commented that you read this - tell me who you are! it's kind of creepy seeing "anonymous" commented on my blog. i guess that's what i get for doing this on the internet....ok, that's really all. i am done.

ok, so i am still awake

i know it is late, but i am still awake. i got a lot of sleep last night, so i am cancelling it out by staying up late tonight. i hope i dont wake kristin up. i watched american idol tonight - what a great show!!! i hope that either paris or kelly win. as long as "i wish i was michael buble" doesnt win or the guy who cant sing country music.....ugh... well, actually, i hope a lot of them dont win - i am glad the twins got booted off, they were pompous jerks. what a great show.

this weekend i am going to atlanta for a concert with whitney, kathryn, bridget and some girl i dont know named marybeth (i think thats her name, i will find out friday). we are going to see the fray - super excited! at least, i am sure i will be. i dont really relish the thought of packing a bag and living out of a suitcase, even though it is just for one weekend. it will be fun though. :) good to get away right before exams.

i am ready for spring break. even though i am going home to work, i am going to be happy to be there in the new house with my family, possibly even my grandparents. and i hope to be able to see some friends who are at school while i am there. that will be weird, visiting another college - i havent done that since i was school-shopping. i cant wait to drive again - i miss my little subaru! :) i can see me now - rocking out to my ipod in the subaru up to denver and beyond - wherever i can go, i am going to go!!! i dont want to stay in colo spgs the whole time - i am going to drive like its my job! yes!!!!

i am starting to get housing for next year figured out - i have a couple options. it really is up to me who i want to live with. i am not going to lie, it feels really good to know that different people want me to live with them. i dont know what i am going to choose though - and i dont know when i have to choose. so, i'll keep you updated on that as time goes on.

does anybody actually read this? because if no one does, then this is stupid for me to keep updating this website that no one reads. let me know if you read this because i feel dumb typing to no one - i could just go write in my journal. oh, i write much more personal things in there, but i do have to repeat some things that i write about on here. anyways, thats all i have to say for tonight. good night!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!

much love to my family and all my amazing friends!

and tonight is Engage, so it pretty much is an amazing day! :)

9 days....

Nine more days until classes are over.....and I couldn't be more excited!!! This term has been intense, academically and relationally. It seems that this weekend, everyone was tense and certain people just seemed to fall apart. I hope next weekend isn't weird. I am supposed to be going to Atlanta for a concert - I hope all is well by then! No, I am not a failure as a friend this week, but still, I hope it all works out. :) I can't wait to go home!!! Ok, I have nothing more to say.

Quote of the day:

"Count your blessings!!!"

Think of how different life would look if we took the time to remember all that we have to be thankful for! I know I dwell on the things I want or don't have - I should remember how blessed I am every day, even if the only that goes right that day is that I am alive.

Second quote of the day:

"Love like you've never been hurt."

I have immortalized this quote on a piece of clay tile. Yes, I did something artistic (with stencils). Anyways, I think that if I were to remember this, every day would be different as well. These quotes are just some things that I have been thinking about lately!

spring term

well, i got the classes i wanted for spring term. it is going to be different than all my other terms, i can already tell. i have HES (health and exercize science) at 9am, then i will work in the financial aid office from 9-12, then communications 20 (public speaking) at 12, then on mondays and wednesdays i will have church history (religion 40) from 1-3. so, we'll see how that goes. i am a bit nervous about public speaking, i am not going lie. but i am excited about church history. and i am only taking HES because i have to - at least i will have annie in my class!!! i am excited about spring term! it was fun last year - furman is SOOOO beautiful in the spring! and i love it here! i mean, i do get homesick :( but i get to go home for spring break, so that will give me a good dose of home before spring term gets going. and we have easter and beach weekend! yay!!! i have a feeling that this is going to be a good term! (at least i hope so!) i just thought i would update you all on what i am doing in the not too distant future.

oh, and i painted my first piece of pottery last week and got it back today. it looks ok, but i am a perfectionist, so i am displeased. i might post a picture, if you want. it is kind of sad looking, but i like it because it is the first piece of pottery i have ever painted (with the help of stencils, mind you).

oh, and clayton and amber are dating. big news! :)

Italy anyone?

Today in religion class, we were discussing Romans 9-11, and brought up discussions about the Jews and Christ. It was so interesting! There are issues that I never even knew existed. I am such a nerd, I think this is great! I love thinking about all this and trying to figure out what I think the truth is - quite a lofty goal, isn't it? Figuring out the truth, that is.

Oh, and another big thing I am excited about is the foreign study trip to Italy next winter term. I went to the informational meeting last night, and it sounds amazing!!! It is expensive and hard to get into, but I so desperately want to go! We would be in Rome for 3 weeks and then traveling about Italy the other 3 weeks. Ah! I am so excited. :) So, yeah, pray that everything will work out with that. I have been watching the Today show every morning and Katie Couric is in Torino, Italy with the Olympics, so I have been hearing about Italy more than I ever have been before, and it only makes me want to go even more. :)

And today, my religion advisor wrote my name in Hebrew for me! It's so cool! I think I might like to take Hebrew some day. Who knows? Anyways, that is all I feel like typing for now.

Love to all!

P.S. Oh, Clayton, we need to talk!!!

computer.....please don't die!!!! i need you! i need your hard drive!! please don't leave me!!! :(